Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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