We're facebook friends in real life
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
