She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
