ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
