i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
