Heybabeimwearingurpanties
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
