I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
