ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
