I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
