I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
