she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
