i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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