omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
