i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
