i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize