Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
