soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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