I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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