my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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