You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
