Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we're making bets on your personal life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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