and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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