I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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