I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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