Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
