i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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