I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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