he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
