I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
