Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
