are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
