Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
