We named our party play list daddy issues
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
