Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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