Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
