Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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