WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
