Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
