Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
