Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
