I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
