So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
