i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize