Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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