they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
