Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
