Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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