office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
