apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
