Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
