youre lurking in front of me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
