So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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